Thursday, 18 February 2010

Dring dring

And the phone rang it was her again,
Could I come to the office
"No" I replied
"Can't you deal with it, without me being there
don't you have procedures for these things"
"No" she replied
"There's a form to be signed, two in fact
and it's not my responsibility".
"Well" I replied
"When I handed you the cheque last week
you didn't mind the responsibility then"
"Anyway I can't come today
My uncle has been bitten by a mad dog
they're now both foaming at the mouth
and I'll have to take him to hospital.
My brother thinks it's Sunday
and he wants a big breakfast
but I've nothing in to make him a big breakfast
so I'll have to take him with me
and stop at a cafe' on the way back.
The dog has defecated on the driver's seat of my car
when you rang I was looking for a shovel.
My friend has locked himself in the toilet
screaming he's going to kill himself
because his partner of ten years has dumped him.
The Vet managed to shoot himself with the tranquiliser dart
he's on some kind of trip and is up on the roof
shouting to the world he's in love with his wife's brother.
More police have just arrived these one's to take a statement
from my neighbour's girlfriend, she stayed here last night
after more drunken stitches, for him that is.
Wait a minute...they've shot the dog.
The fire brigade are here now trying to reach the Vet
an ambulance has arrived for my uncle
the police must have called for it
they've also arrested my neighbour's girlfriend.
My brother has just kicked in the toilet door
screaming louder than my friend that he can't get his breakfast
with him locked in the toilet.
So I'll have to take my brother for his breakfast
would tomorrow morning about ten O'clock do".

I've just written this to amuse myself

No comments:

Post a Comment